Diary

Painting is just another way of keeping a diary. ~Pablo Picasso

I have a blog to improve my writing skills. I think that it is a good idea to know how to express yourself in words in most aspects of life. I have always had a hard time telling stories, writing essays, and even speaking in correct English grammar. I still struggle with it. I do not tell people that I have a blog because I do not care if anyone reads it, it is purely for me to write down my thoughts and experiences like a diary.
Like Picasso says, Painting is just another way of keeping a diary. When I am painting or doing sculptures I am lost in the way that the tools feel in my hand. I see in big mass of rock what it really wants to become. As I knock off big chunks and sand away the small chunks and then the smaller chunks and sand until it begins to feel smooth to the touch, then you rub oil onto the piece and it shines. It becomes this refined and polished piece that is beautiful instead of seen as just a rock. Painting is a little different for me but I am working on helping the canvas become what it wants to become like a rock. I struggle with it and it is great to see the differences that I learn from each stroke that I make. I constantly learn things about the way that the paint spreads and the texture that I can add and the dimension of that space. I express myself in my works better than in writing but find myself struggling to become a better painter the same way I struggle to become a writer.
I think that when we stop learning to do everything in life better, we become stagnant and sterile. I hope that I will always feel like I have so much to learn.

Love, Security, and Control

What delights us in visible beauty is the invisible. ~Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

This quote is quite true, I have learned from being married for four years and with my husband for eight years. After so many years of a relationship the compliments that came daily, have dwindled to far and few between. My husband has seen it all and truly knows me. Not that he thinks that what he has is not great and a perfect complement to him, it is that he has me. He knows how my body works and what to expect. He can read my mind without me having to say a word. There are no surprises even when I try to surprise him with something different, he expects it. It is the one drawback of being committed to someone who knows you so well. Of course, this does not detoured me from being completely happy with my marriage, it just makes those times that you get attention so much better.
I love it when I am out and I get hit on or checked out by people that I think are attractive. It reaffirms the fact that I still got it. Thankfully, Rith appreciates me being checked out too. We are not insecure in our relationship, we know that we are completely committed to each other; we know that if someone is hitting on him or me, nothing but the satisfaction of still being admired crosses our minds. When a woman hits on Rith I happily sit there and think “Yeah that is my husband! And he still has it! And he is completely mine…How great is that?!?”
Early Roman woman were hidden away and covered from head to toe, they were only allowed out for special events. They were possessions of the men. And thought that they were not in control of their emotions, they did not want their wives to open Pandora’s Box. To this day there are couples who are like this and they sadden me. It shows that there is no trust in their relationship and the commitment that they have for one another. It shows their insecurities and causes the spouse to feel like they have to be cautious about what they say. God forbid the other gets the wrong idea they stay guarded. It drives a wedge between them by the lack of trust and the feeling that they have to think about what the other will think. Even the most innocent exchanges between the opposite sex. It is one step away from covering them completely and only allowing them to leave when they are with each other.

Hitchcock...

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder. ~Alfred Hitchcock

I love summer in Utah! I tell everyone how much I love it and I just can’t explain how great it is. Not only is it (normally) perfectly hot and everyone happy because they have Vitamin B flowing in their blood but Utah has so much happening during the summer. Outdoor concerts, people out walking their dogs and talking to neighbors, and movies in the park.
For the whole month of June, my best movie maker Alfred will be showing his classic films. I think that I have seen ever movie he has ever made and has some great memories from his movies.
The first time I saw The Birds, was when I was seven. My cousins and I were at home alone while our parents went out. We had all the lights off and sat there screaming as the birds pecked out the eyes of the farmers and attacked everything moving in site. The greatest scene of the movie is when the children are running out of the school flailing their arms trying to protect themselves from getting attacked. It was filmed in Bodega Bay. I went to college an hour and a half away. Every time I went out to the coast to surf or camp or just hang out by the ocean, I would make us stop and walk up to the school and the church on the corner. I have a picture hanging on my fridge and am happy every time I see it. Sure it is corny, and sure that most likely would never happen but just for that hour we were so happy to be as scared with something as innocent as birds and that was a great relief from the real and very possible fears in our lives.